Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
