after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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