First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
