my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
