went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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