i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
