Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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