just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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