I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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