You really coming over, don't trick.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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