this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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