I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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