just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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