so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
