I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
