YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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