I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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