You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
