3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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