Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
