Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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