Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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