I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
