I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
