I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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