Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
