There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize