Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
