Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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