people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
