the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
