I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The ass gains better be worth it
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