I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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