so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
