it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
