Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have aggressive nipples.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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