So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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