do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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