Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize