Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
