so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Randomize