I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
