I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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