im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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