so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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