This is not my ceiling
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
do herpes really smell.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
