I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
