i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
