I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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