Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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