I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
