So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
