new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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