My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ugly people sure do ruin things
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
