things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
