How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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