dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
tell me about the eggs
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