To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
