Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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