Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
