I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
