Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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