The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
