so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
