Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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