what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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