just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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