What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
