I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Randomize
