Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize