I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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